Emmett Causes Trouble
by xocullen4everxo
Summary: Title says it all. One-shot about Emmett and his evil plan causing chaos. Post Eclipse when Bella and Edward are engaged.
1. Bella's POV

Emmett Causes Trouble

*Post Eclipse when Bella and Edward are engaged.

Bella's POV

"Bella…" I heard a musical voice say in my sleepy sub-consciousness. I rolled over not wanting to get up, hoping the voice would go away.

"Bella!" the voice screamed this time, startling me and sending me flying off the side of the bed.

"Wake up! We have so much to--why are you on the ground?" Alice Cullen stopped mid-sentence and stared, puzzled, from where she was sitting on the bed.

"Oh, because it's much more comfortable than the king-sized bed you are currently sitting on." I retorted, wondering if a big bruise would soon appear on my back.

"No need to be sarcastic Bella. Now go get ready, I laid out some clothes for you to wear today that are adorable and Esme has breakfast ready for you downstairs." And with that Alice skipped out of my room. I like it better when Edward wakes me up.

Once again I was being held hostage at the Cullen's house by Alice while Edward was out hunting with Emmett and Jasper.

All morning I was tortured by Alice, who ran about the house gathering booklets and samples of things for the wedding while I sat staring at the blur before my eyes. The topics ranged from my dress to what color the ink for the invitations should be; she even had a slide show. By the time she was done all I could think was: wow. Thankfully Edward came home and insisted that I take a break from Alice and her multicolored binder.

Unfortunately when Edward came home so did Emmett and Jasper. Emmett walked into the living room and stopped abruptly causing Jasper to crash into him.

"What is all this?" Emmett asked when he saw the array of cakes Alice had picked up from the bakery.

"Cake samples for Bella to try. She has to have the perfect flavor for her wedding," replied Alice as Emmett lifted one up to his face to sniff.

"Ew," Emmett said with a look of disgust on his face, "it smells awful."

"Oh yeah, why don't you see how it tastes," Jasper replied as he lifted the plate with the sample of cake on it and smashed it into Emmett's face.

"Oh no you didn't," Emmett yelled, wiping the cake off of his face and flinging it to the floor, "it's on!" Emmett threw a piece of cake at Jasper, who ducked, causing the cake to hit Rosalie square in the face.

"Emmett!" she screamed as she wiped the cake off her face, "you got disgusting frosting in my hair!" She walked over to the assortment of cakes, picked up the first piece she saw and stuffed it down Emmett's pants.

Emmett stood there stunned for a minute and then screamed, "food fight!" and threw another piece at Jasper.

Edward, of course, tried to pull me out of the way but not before a piece of chocolate cake, thrown by Emmett, hit me square in the face.

The fight only lasted a total of two minutes because there were five vampires with superhuman speed and only thirty pieces of cake. After the last piece of cake missed Alice's head and hit the freshly painted white wall Esme walked in.

We must have been a sight to see. Every one of us had cake plastered all over our bodies, as did the furniture and carpet of the living room. Not to mention the Jasper shaped cake outline on the wall from when Emmett shoved him into it while they were wrestling.

"What did you do?!" Esme shrieked as she took in the sight before her.

"Well, you see," Emmett said trying to come up with a good excuse as to why her once white living room was now covered in multicolored frosting, "Bella had to pick out a cake for the wedding and we decided to help her."

Emmett smiled at Esme as if his reason was actually believable.

"By throwing it around my living room?" Esme asked disbelief.

Emmett, realizing he was going to get blamed, yelled the next best thing, "Edward started it."

"What? I did not, that is such a lie Emmett."

"Did to!"

"Did not!"

"Did-" Emmett was cut off by Edward who tackled him to the ground. They started wrestling…again.

But as soon as Esme yelled, "boys!" they froze, Edward on Emmett's back trying to strangle him while Emmett was attempting to flip him. Edward immediately released his hold on Emmett and returned to my side, putting his arm around my waist.

"I don't care who started it, all three of you boys are going to clean this room while you girls go clean yourselves off and that is final. Now I have to go to the store and get supplies. I'll be back in an hour, behave." With that Esme left the room and headed for the garage.

I stepped into Edward's shower eager to get the dried frosting out of my hair. I washed it three times and I could swear it still smelled like cake. Finally giving up I turned off the water, grabbed the towel, and stepped out of the shower. After drying off I went to grab my clean set of clothes that I had placed on the counter, only they weren't there. I could have sworn that I left them on the counter, but I frantically checked the whole bathroom just to make sure. Oh no, this is not good…Alice! She had to have some clothes here for me just in case something like this happened.

"Alice," I called into the hallway. No response. Huh, that's weird, where is the little pixie? It did seem rather quiet all of a sudden. Maybe I can sneak into Edward's room and get my clothes out of my duffle bag quickly before anyone notices.

I opened the bathroom door slightly and stuck my head out, making sure the coast was clear. I made sure my towel was secured as I slipped out of the bathroom and ran into Edward's room. When I closed the door I realized the room was empty. Edward must still be with Emmett and Jasper cleaning up downstairs. I walked over to my duffle to retrieve my clothes but when I opened the bag they were not there. In their place was a note that read:_ 'Muwahahaha'_

I only know one person in this household who would say 'Muwahahaha'….

"Emmett," I screamed as I left Edward's bedroom and made my way down the hall, "what did you do with my clothes?!"

I could faintly hear voices coming from downstairs but didn't think anything of it as I rounded the corner on my quest to kill Emmett.

"Emmett, I know you-" I froze mid-sentence as I came to the top of the stairs. The voices I had heard belonged to Edward and Mike Newton, who was currently staring at me with his mouth hanging open. Upon noticing Mike in the doorway I immediately turned a deep crimson. Edward, who had his back to me, tensed and turned around slowly, trying to block Mike's view of me. His face, one of shock at first, turned to anger as he heard what I'm sure Mike was thinking.

"Bella love, why aren't you wearing any clothes?" he asked trying to remain calm, considering the present situation.

"Because stupid Emmett over there stole them while I was in the shower!" I pointed over to Emmett who was laughing hysterically on the floor in the living room, but froze when he heard his name.

"Emmett…" Edward snarled so loud that I'm sure even Mike heard it from where he stood, still frozen at the door.

"No! Edward I didn't…I mean it was a joke…I" Emmett stammered as Edward slowly approached.

"Ah!" As Edward launched himself at Emmett, Emmett shrieked like a little girl and ran out of the room. Edward disappeared after him followed by a series of crashes and shattering noises.

"Emmett!" Edward roared and another round of shattering was heard before Edward emerged with his shirt ripped and hair disheveled.

"Whatever you broke I don't want to know, just hide it, fix it, bury it or do something with it before Carlisle and Esme get back." Rosalie called from upstairs.

"Edward, what happened?"

Edward, still fuming answered, "he landed on my piano."

Just then Emmett came back into the room looking worse than Edward. "Relax Edward, it's only a piano we can buy another one."

As soon as the words had left Emmett's mouth, Alice appeared, "Oh, did I hear shopping, I'll do it!"

"No, really Alice I'd rather-" Edward started but was stopped by Alice grabbing his collar and bringing his face level with hers, "Let. Me. Do. It." She hissed at him. "I haven't bought anything in twenty-four hours and it's killing me."

"Wow, someone has withdrawal problems, "I remarked under my breath, forgetting she could hear every word.

"Bella, so help me, I will take you to the Mall of America and we will visit every store!" Alice growled, momentarily forgetting about Edward and turning on me.

"Hey, I think we all need to relax down here." Jasper said as he came down the stairs, sending out calming waves to everyone in the room.

"Uh, why is Newton standing in the doorway and Bella, why are you in a towel?" Jasper asked.

"Because Emmett took her clothes while she was in the shower." Rosalie called from upstairs, not even bothering to come down.

"And Newton?" Jasper asked again.

"Mike, why are you here?" I asked turning to him.

"I…uh…I…um," Mike stuttered trying to regain his ability to talk, "you didn't show up to work today and when I called Chief Swan he said you were staying here, so I...."

"Oh, Mike I'm so sorry I completely forgot. Edward was out camping and Alice had her binder and…" I started rambling and until Edward cut me off.

"I asked Alice to take you for me." He turned, as the realization hit him, toward a guilty looking Alice. "You thought this would be funny?" He asked, seething with anger as he backed Alice into the wall.

Why is Edward so angry? What would be funny? I hate when they have silent conversations and apparently I wasn't the only one because Jasper and Mike, who still hadn't moved from his spot at the door, looked just as confused as I did. Emmett on the other had was shaking he was laughing so hard and said, "I think this is hilarious. And to be able to keep you in the dark..." He was laughing so hard that he had to stop talking.

Realization hit me as I thought about what was just said. This was all part of one of Emmett's evil plans to make my life miserable. Alice must have had a vision of Mike coming over when I was without clothes and decided to help Emmett execute the plan…Alice that little traitor.

"Alice you traitor! You knew and didn't tell me! How could you…Jasper, enough!" I screamed as I felt myself getting angrier at Alice.

"Sorry Bella, but its Edward, he's fuming right now, I can't control it."

Suddenly Emmett's booming laugh filled the room, as he couldn't hold it in any longer. "Oh my God! Newton's face when….Bella….and…." He couldn't even get out a full sentence he was laughing so hard.

"That's it." Edward yelled as he tackled Emmett for the third time today. Unfortunately they landed on the dining room table and continued fighting, Jasper joining them, till there was nothing left standing in the room. Rosalie apparently decided it was time to break things up because she came down the stairs shouting profanities at the three of them, some of which I'm not even sure were in English. "Edward, get off of my husband! Emmett stop this, damn it! Jasper can't you control them better than that!"

"Don't you yell at my Jazzy. Edward started it and…"

"He was provoked!" I shouted over them and soon we were fighting too, Alice stepping onto the stairs so she was even in height with Rosalie.

Just then Carlisle and Esme came home. Carlisle let out a sharp whistle and we all froze. Mike, who we all forgot about, was scared stiff next to Carlisle and muttered, "I um, have to get back to the store, um bye." He ran faster than I have ever seen him run to his car and drive away.

"What is the matter with you?" Carlisle asked keeping his voice low but extremely stern. "You have destroyed the dining room and more importantly almost exposed yourselves to Mike Newton."

"Haha," Emmett started laughing, "Bella almost did expose herself to Mike."

Edward growled in response while Esme asked, "Bella dear, why don't you have any clothes on?"

"Because after you left I went upstairs to take a shower and when I came out I found Emmett stole my clothes so I came down to get them from him, Mike was here, Edward tackled Emmett, broke his piano, Alice revealed their evil plan to embarrass me, Edward tackled him again, Jasper joined in, they broke everything in the dining room, and then Rosalie came down and we started fighting over whose fault it was and then you came home." I finished out of breath after retelling what had happened that afternoon. Esme on the other hand was livid and shouted, "Everyone to their rooms now!"


	2. Edward's POV

Emmett Causes Trouble

Edward's POV

I was sitting on my bed watching my beautiful Bella sleep when I heard someone chanting over and over in their head, _Edward, Edward, Edward, Edward, Edward… _I knew that annoying voice and it meant that I was getting a visit from Emmett.

"Emmett I swear, if you wake Bella…" I threatened under my breath, making sure not to wake her.

"Calm down Eddie she's sound asleep. Now come on, I wanna get me some grizzly!"

I looked down at my Bella, sleeping peacefully, and then at Emmett who was chanting some kind of warrior song in his head. _Hunting who-haha…hunting who-haha…_

"Fine. But we have to get back before she wakes up and you have to stop chanting in your head."

"Yeah, sure, sure." Emmett replied, waving his hand at me as he left the room chanting, _Grizzly who-haha, grizzly who-haha…_

"Emmett…" I growled at his retreating form.

_Don't worry Edward, I'll look after Bella while your out!_ Alice thought, and I saw in her mind pictures of her and Bella playing dress up together.

Great, I was going hunting with Emmett and Jasper and had to leave my dear Bella in the evil hands of Alice.

_(A few hours later)_

"Guys, Bella has to be awake by now." Oh no, I was starting to whine like Emmett.

"What, you don't want to spend some quality time with your brothers?" Emmett asked, pretending to pout and bat his eyelashes in a very disturbing manner.

"No, not really. And besides, we spend enough time together, I mean, we live in the same house!"

"Fine…but I call shotgun!"

"Dude, it's your car." Jasper stated in disbelief. _How dumb can you get?_

"Oh yeah, I forgot. To the Emmett mobile!" He yelled as he started running through the trees to where we left the Jeep in the middle of the clearing.

_I'm a Barbie girl, in a Barbie world…_

"Emmett, for the love of God, could you please stop singing 'Barbie Girl' in your head." I yelled at him after I couldn't take it any longer.

"Fine," he pouted, "but let's turn the radio on then because I'm bored. Let's listen to some jams!"

"Emmett! We are just turning on the radio stop being so excited." Jasper exclaimed from the passenger seat.

"Well then!" he shouted as he turned on the radio.

"Hell no," said Jasper when he heard 'Single Ladies' by Beyonce blast through the speakers.

_OMG! I love this song!_

"Emmett you have got to be kidding me," I said.

"What?" he replied, "it's catchy."

"If you liked it then you should have put a ring on it…" he started singing at the top of his lungs.

_Uhhh, shoot me!_ Jasper thought as he slumped back into his seat.

"I would but it wouldn't do any good." I told him.

_Shut up Edward!_ Was his mental reply before he started banging his head against the window.

"Finally." Jasper let out a sigh of relief as we pulled into the garage.

_Ok, we finished looking at dresses and invitations now on to cake and then flowers, food, bridesmaid dresses…_

"Alice, why don't you give Bella a break and then you can continue later?"

"Fine. But not for too long, we have so much more to do!" Alice said as she skipped over to greet Jasper.

Emmett had come to a stop in front of the table of cakes that Alice had picked up for Bella to try.

"What is all this?" he asked.

"Cake samples for Bella to try. She has to have the perfect flavor for her wedding," replied Alice as Emmett lifted one up to his face to sniff.

"Ew," Emmett said after sniffing the disgusting cake, "it smells awful."

"Oh yeah, why don't you see how it tastes," Jasper replied as he pushed the plate of vile smelling cake into Emmett's face.

"Oh no you didn't," Emmett yelled, flinging the cake from his face and onto Esme's white carpet, "it's on!" Emmett threw a piece of cake at Jasper, who ducked, just as Rosalie walked into the room.

_Ha, he missed!...Oh no he hit Rose…man she is mad!_

_I saw that coming…I should have brought a camera!_

_Oh man, I am so dead. Rosalie is going to kill me!_

_Emmett! Oh my God, he is so dead!_

"Emmett!" she screamed as she wiped the cake off of her face, "you got disgusting frosting in my hair!" Livid, she walked over to the cake and picked up the first piece she saw.

_Oh no, why is she walking towards me with a piece of cake and that crazy look in her eye?_

Rosalie walked over to Emmett and shoved the cake down his pants.

_Ha! That will show him._

Emmett stood there stunned for a minute and then screamed, "food fight!" and threw another piece at Jasper.

I tried to pull Bella out of the line of fire but not before Emmett hit her right in the face. If he was going to involve Bella, then it was on.

I picked up two pieces of cake, threw one at Emmett and then turned to throw the other at Alice but she was on to me and hit me right in the face before I could throw mine so I turned again and threw it at Rosalie, knowing later I would pay the price. I was able to hit Emmett two more times before we were out of cake. Then Esme walked in.

She did not look happy and neither were her thoughts, _What did they do?! All of my new furniture and I just fixed the wall from the last Jasper dent..._

"What did you do?!" Esme repeated aloud.

Everyone looked to Emmett who was mentally thinking of excuses as to why it looked like someone let a two year old with crayons loose in her white living room. _It was an accident…I tripped…we were fighting off the Volturi…aliens..._

"Well, you see," he started, "Bella had to pick out a cake for the wedding and we decided to help her." Well it was a half truth at best. Bella was looking at cakes for the wedding but to help her we threw them around the living room.  
_Please believe it, please believe it, please believe it…_he pleaded over and over in his head.

"By throwing it around my living room?" Esme asked.

_Damn._ _Well…_ Oh no, this cannot be good.

"Edward started it." He yelled while pointing his finger at me.

He was going to try and blame me?! "What? I did not, that is such a lie Emmett."

"Did to!"

"Did not!"

"Did-" I didn't let him finish as I tackled him to the floor and started wrestling him. I had just jumped onto his back when Esme yelled, "boys!" and we both froze. I immediately released Emmett and went to stand next to Bella, putting my arm around her waist.

"I don't care who started it, all three of you boys are going to clean this room while you girls go clean yourselves off and that is final. Now, I have to go to the store and get supplies. I'll be back in an hour, behave." Esme said as she headed for the garage.

_I can't believe them, I just painted those walls and now I have to go buy more and I'll probably need a new sofa…_

"Good job Emmett, now we have to clean the entire living room." Jasper said, after the girls had gone upstairs.

"It's not my fault." Emmett complained.

"How is this not your fault?"

"It doesn't matter. Let's just clean this up before Esme gets back or else we will be in even more trouble." I said as I lifted an overturned plate from the floor.

"Yeah, your right. I'll go get the supplies." Jasper said as he went into the kitchen.

Using vampire speed we finished shortly, all of us too scared of Esme to goof around.

I decided to watch Emmett and Jasper play some videogames while I waited for Bella to come down when the doorbell rang.

My head got really silent as I went to answer the door and found the one boy who I hate almost as much as Jacob Black. Mike Newton.

_Uh, Cullen, he is such a freak, I don't know how Bella could ever choose him over me..._

"Hello Mike how are you?" I asked trying to act polite.

"Fine," he answered coldly.

"Hey Newton, what's shakin'?" Emmett shouted from the living room.

Ignoring him I asked, "is there something I could do for you?"

_Haha, it's too easy, I won't even…_

I growled quietly under my breath at Emmett who was shaking with silent laughter.

"I came-" Mike started but stopped mid sentence with his mouth hanging open.

_Oh my God, Bella's in a towel. I always hoped this day--wait, why is she just in a towel at Cullen's..._

I tuned out his disgusting and terribly disturbing fantasies and turned around in time to see Bella blush a bright crimson. Bella was, as I had seen in Mike's thoughts, only wearing a towel and I shifted my weight so I was blocking Mike's view of her.

"Bella love, why aren't you wearing any clothes?" I asked, not knowing what else to say.

"Because stupid Emmett over there stole them while I was in the shower!" she said as she pointed over to Emmett who was rolling on the floor laughing.

_"Oh my God that was hilarious. Her face…and then he turned around--wait, Emmett?! Oh no, I'm so dead._

"Emmett…" I snarled at him as the laughter left and fear filled his features.

"No! Edward I didn't…I mean it was a joke…I" Emmett stuttered as I stalked toward him.

As I launched myself at him, Emmett let out a high pitched shriek and ran out of the room.

I followed him, knocking him into all the plates that we had recently cleaned after the food fight. He then tackled me onto Esme's coffee table and I shoved him off of me, sending him across the room where he landed on MY PIANO?!

"Emmett!" I roared as I threw him off of what remained of my precious piano and out the back window. Considering this my win I went back out to join Bella.

From upstairs Rosalie called down, "Whatever you broke I don't want to know, just hide it, fix it, bury it or do something with it before Carlisle and Esme get back."

"Edward, what happened?" Bella asked, as she looked at my torn shirt and messy hair nervously.

"He landed on my piano." I answered, still breathing heavily.

"Relax Edward, it's only a piano we can buy another one." Emmett said as he entered the room with equally ripped clothing and--was that glass in his hair?

_Shopping?_

Alice appeared instantly at Emmett's side, "Oh, did I hear shopping, I'll do it!"

Oh no. Last time Alice bought me a piano it was pink because black was 'cliché.'

"No, really Alice I'd rather-" I was stopped mid-sentence when Alice pulled me by my collar so my face was level with hers, "Let. Me. Do. It." She hissed. "I haven't bought anything in twenty-four hours and it's killing me."

"Wow, someone has withdrawal problems," Bella said so softly that if I was not a vampire I probably wouldn't have heard it. That was a mistake because Alice heard it and spun around to look at her.

"Bella, so help me, I will take you to the Mall of America and we will visit every store!"

"Hey, I think we all need to relax down here." Jasper said, sending out calming waves to everyone as he came down the stairs.

_Why is Bella, wait, Newton?!_

"Uh, why is Newton standing in the doorway and Bella, why are you in a towel?" Jasper asked.

_Uh, I'm not even down there and I'm a part of this. Jasper is so slow sometimes._

"Because Emmett took her clothes while she was in the shower." Rosalie called from upstairs.

_Oh nice! Why didn't he ask me to help, that would have been--oh, sorry Edward, I mean that was wrong, he should be ashamed…_

"And Newton?" Jasper asked again.

"Mike, why are you here?" My beautiful Bella asked.

"I…uh…I…um," Mike stuttered trying to regain his ability to talk, "you didn't show up to work today and when I called Chief Swan he said you were staying here, so I...."

"Oh, Mike I'm so sorry I completely forgot. Edward was out camping and Alice had her binder and…" Bella started rambling so I decided to step in.

"I asked Alice to take you for me."

_Oh no, I didn't think this part through. Ummm, Edward I can explain, you see I had a vision and I thought it would be funny if--_

"You thought this would be funny?" I asked as I backed her into the wall. I can feel my anger building and I think Jasper has something to do with it. Emmett on the other had was shaking with laughter.

"I think this is hilarious. And to be able to keep you in the dark..." He exploded into another fit of laughter and had to stop talking.

Wait, they planned this? Together? I am going to kill them both.

"Alice you traitor! You knew and didn't tell me! How could you…Jasper, enough!" Bella screamed.

"Sorry Bella, but it's Edward, he's fuming right now, I can't control it."

Emmett's booming laughter rang out again. "Oh my God! Newton's face when….Bella….and…." He couldn't even get out a full sentence he was laughing so hard.

I couldn't take it any longer.

"That's it." I yelled as I tackled him again, this time landing on the dining room table.

_No way, I am not missing out on another fight._

Jasper joined in the wrestling until there was nothing left standing in the room.

_Ok this is getting ridiculous, I am ending this now._

Rosalie apparently decided to care about her husband because she came down the stairs shouting profanities in an array of languages. "Edward, get off of my husband! Emmett stop this, damn it! Jasper can't you control them better than that!"

"Don't you yell at my Jazzy. Edward started it and…"

"He was provoked!" Bella shouted over them and soon they were yelling at each other, Alice stepping onto the stairs so she was as tall as Rosalie.

This is when Carlisle and Esme decided to come home. We all froze as Carlisle let out a sharp whistle. Newton still stood in the doorway and muttered, "I um, have to get back to the store, um bye." And ran to his car faster than I have ever seen a human run.

"What is the matter with you?" Carlisle asked keeping his voice low but extremely stern. "You have destroyed the dining room and more importantly almost exposed yourselves to Mike Newton."

"Haha," Emmett started laughing, "Bella almost did expose herself to Mike."

I growled in response but didn't attack him again because we didn't need to get in more trouble with Esme, who asked Bella, "Bella dear, why don't you have any clothes on?"

"Because after you left I went upstairs to take a shower and when I came out I found Emmett stole my clothes so I came down to get them from him, Mike was here, Edward tackled Emmett, broke his piano, Alice revealed their evil plan to embarrass me, Edward tackled him again, Jasper joined in, they broke everything in the dining room, and then Rosalie came down and we started fighting over whose fault it was and then you came home." Bella blurted out in one breath. Esme was livid and shouted, "Everyone to their rooms now!"


	3. Mike's POV

Emmett Causes Trouble

**AN: sorry it took so long to add this POV school has been crazy! **

Mike's POV

Today is another boring day of working at the store. The only thing that will make this day better is seeing beautiful Bella. Maybe I can finally convince her that I am better than that Cullen kid she is dating now. She should be arriving any minute, better practice my pick-up lines.

_(10 minutes later)_

Huh, Bella is never late. At least it gives me more time to fix my hair.

_(1 hour later)_

Maybe she just overslept. It happens.

_(3 hours later)_

This is getting weird. I'll just call the house and make sure she's alright I guess.

"Hello?" Chief Swan asked into the phone.

"Hello Chief Swan, this is Mike Newton, is Bella there?"

"No, sorry son she's staying at Edward Cullen's house. They have some, um, plans to attend to. I can take a message if you would like."

"Oh um, no thanks, it's not important. Goodbye."

She is staying at Cullen's? He probably told her to blow me off so he could keep her all to himself. Well, I don't think so. I'm going over there myself to find out what's up.

I walked to the door and rang the doorbell, my finger shaking I was so nervous. I don't even know why I can here, this gives Cullen the opportunity to kill me without any witnesses. I mean, who lives out in the middle of nowhere like this. Uh, Cullen, he is such a freak, I don't know how Bella could ever choose him over me…

Just then Edward opened the door and said, "Hello Mike how are you?" acting as if he even gave a crap.

"Fine." I answered. If he wanted to play that way then bring it on.

"Hey Newton, what's shakin'?" His bear of a brother, Emmett, shouted from the living room.

Edward, ignoring him, turned back to me and asked, "is there anything I could do for you?"

"I came-" I was about to tell him that it I was here to see Bella and that it was none of his business when Bella ran to the landing in JUST A TOWEL! Oh my God, Bella's in a towel. I always hoped this day--wait, why is she just in a towel at Cullen's? I stopped thinking about all the reasons why Bella could be in a towel at my house when Edward moved in front of me so I couldn't see her. I don't think so brother!

"Bella love, why aren't you wearing any clothes?" 'Bella love?' Oh gag me with a spoon!

"Because stupid Emmett over there stole them while I was in the shower!" Bella shouted, red in the face, as she pointed over to Emmett, who was rolling on the floor he was laughing so hard.

"Emmett…" Edward growled at him. Holy shit! Who growls at their brother? Who growls in general?

Edward started to walk towards him as Emmett stuttered out, "No! Edward I didn't…I mean it was a joke…I" Then he shrieked like a little girl as Edward pounced on him. Oh man, Emmett screaming like a girl, I should have brought a camera.

There were a series of crashing and shattering noises followed shortly by Edward yelling, "Emmett!" before another round of shattering was heard and then Edward reappeared at the door. Wait? Did he seriously just wrestle his brother and destroy half their house because he was laughing at Bella? This family is crazy.

"Whatever you broke I don't want to know, just hide it, fix it, bury it or do something with it before Carlisle and Esme get back." Rosalie called from somewhere on the second floor. Bury it? Did this happen often?

"Edward, what happened?" Bella asked nervously as she took in Edward's disheveled appearance. Oh come on! He's perfectly fine!

"He landed on my piano." Haha, his piano?! Oh my God, he is such a loser!

"Relax Edward, it's only a piano we can buy another one." Emmett said as he entered the room, looking just as disheveled as Edward but surprisingly not cut up from the amount of shattering heard.

"Oh, did I hear shopping, I'll do it!" Holy crap! Where did Alice come from? She just appeared out of nowhere.

"No, really Alice I'd rather-" Edward was cut off midsentence because the pixie pulled him down to her line of sight and said, well more hissed, "Let. Me. Do. It. I haven't bought anything in twenty-four hours and it's killing me." Hasn't bought anything in twenty-four hours? I haven't bought anything in over a month!

"Wow, someone has withdrawal problems," Bella said under her breath.

"Bella, so help me, I will take you to the Mall of America and we will visit every store!" Alice shouted at her.

Just then Jasper came down the stairs and said, "Hey, I think we all need to relax down here. Uh, why is Newton standing in the doorway and Bella, why are you in a towel?"

Dude, don't talk about me like I'm not standing here! If they weren't so self absorbed they would have realized sooner that I was here.

"Because Emmett took her clothes while she was in the shower." Rosalie called from upstairs. God this girl was nosy, she's not even down here and she is involved.

"And Newton?" Jasper asked again.

"Mike, why are you here?" Bella asked. All at once everyone's eyes were on me. Oh shit, I'm supposed to answer.

"I…uh…I…um," God I can't even talk, "you didn't show up to work today and when I called Chief Swan he said you were staying here, so I…"

"Oh, Mike I'm so sorry I completely forgot. Edward was out camping and Alice had her binder and…"

Bella started rambling until Edward cut her off, "I asked Alice to take you for me." What Bella can't drive herself to work? God he is so overprotective!

"You thought this would be funny?" Edward yelled as he backed Alice into the wall. Wait, what is funny? She didn't say anything!

"I think this is hilarious. And to keep you in the dark…" Emmett said before exploding into laughter. Oh my God! What is going on? These Cullens are a bunch of freaks.

"Alice you traitor!" Bella shouted, "You knew and didn't tell me!" Knew what? "How could you…Jasper, enough!" Jasper? What does he have to do with anything? I think Bella's gone crazy. She is spending to much time with Cullen.

"Sorry Bella, but it's Edward, he's fuming right now, I can't control it." Jasper said with a look of pain on his face. What is going on?! They have completely forgotten about me and are all acting like they belong in the nuthouse.

Emmett, unable to control himself, shouted out again, "Oh my God! Newton's face when…Bella…and…" He couldn't even form a complete sentence. I have no idea what I had to do with whatever the hell they were actually talking about but I was about to find out when Edward yelled, "That's it!" and threw Emmett and himself on the dining room table. This time Jasper joined in the fight and they wrestled around until nothing was left undamaged in the room. Was that even possible? They didn't even look bruised.

Rosalie decided to make her entrance shouting a string of profanities some of which sounded like they were in a different language. "Edward, get off my husband! Emmett stop this, damn it! Jasper can't you control them better than that!"

Wow, there are a set of lungs on that girl. Wait…husband? When did her and Emmett tie the knot?

"Don't you yell at my Jazzy. Edward started it and…" Alice said as she stepped onto a stair to equal her height with Rosalie.

"He was provoked!" Bella yelled at Alice. Oh sure, stick up for her beloved Edward.

Soon all three girls were fighting over who's boyfriend, or apparently husband, had started the fight.

A sharp whistle rang out from behind me causing me to jump and all of them to freeze. Dr. and Mrs. Cullen were home. I have to leave this crazy place now. Oh I wish I could stick around to see how bad Cullen get's punished.

"I um, have to get back to the store, um bye." I muttered an excuse and ran back to the safety of my car before driving away and never looking back.

**AN: Thanks so much to the people who did review and everyone else please do! I will have the last POV up shortly!**


	4. Emmett's POV

Emmett Causes Trouble

**AN: Ok, this is the last POV/chapter for Emmett Causes Trouble. Thanks so much to everyone who read it and I hoped you enjoyed it. I am working on some other ideas and hope to have them out shortly. Enjoy!**

And last but not least, the mastermind behind it all-Emmett's POV

I thought of the best plan ever! It is seriously the greatest plan in the history of great plans! Alice helped me with it but now I have to stop thinking about it or else Edward will find out.

Time to start phase 1: get Edward out of the house.

Edward, Edward, Edward, Edward, Edward…I chanted over and over in my head as I made my way up to his room where he was watching Bella sleep.

"Emmett I swear, if you wake Bella…" Edward threatened under breath. Oh yeah, what is he going to do me? Throw me in the river? Rip my arm off? News flash buddy, you've already done those things! Edward's threats are empty.

"Calm down Eddie she's sound asleep." I said as I entered his room, "Now come on, I wanna get me some grizzly!"

Edward looked down at Bella and then back at me, not wanting to leave her. Fine, if he is not going to come quietly…Hunting who-haha…hunting who-haha…I started chanting a battle cry in my head. That will get him!

"Fine." Yeah! "But we have to get back before she wakes up and you have to stop chanting in your head." Uhhhhhhh, he has so many conditions.

"Yeah, sure, sure." I said, waving my hand at him as I left. Grizzly who-haha…grizzly who-haha…

"Emmett…" Edward growled. Haha, this is going to be good.

Right about now Alice should be mentally begging Edward to let her watch Bella and give her a makeover.

Phase 1: complete.

(A few hours later)

"Guys, Bella has to be awake by now." Edward whined like a little girl.

Uh oh, I had to stall him for a little bit longer. "What, you don't want to spend some quality time with your brothers?" I asked pretending to pout and bat my eyelashes at him.

"No, not really." How rude! "And besides, we spend enough time together, I mean, we live in the same house." Dude's got a point there.

"Fine…but I call shotgun!" I yelled, throwing my arm in the air.

"Dude, it's your car." Jasper stated in his 'Emmett you're an idiot' voice.

"Oh yeah, I forgot. To the Emmett mobile!" I exclaimed as I ran off to the middle of the clearing where the Jeep was parked.

Once we were off I started singing in my head, I'm a Barbie girl, in a Barbie world…

"Emmett, for the love of God, could you please stop singing 'Barbie Girl' in your head." Edward yelled from the backseat.

"Fine, but let's turn the radio on then because I'm bored. Let's listen to some jams!" I yelled going to turn on the radio.

"Emmett!" Jasper yelled, "We are just turning on the radio stop being so excited." It's fake excitedness Jasper, duh. And they call me dumb.

"Well then!" I shouted, pretending to be offended, and pushed the button for the radio.

"Hell no." Jasper said as 'Single Ladies' by Beyonce came on. OMG! I love this song!

"Emmett you have got to be kidding me," Edward said. No kidding here brother!

"What?" I replied, "it's catchy."

At the top of my lungs I started to sing, "If you liked it then you should have put a ring on it…"

"I would but it wouldn't do any good." Edward said to Jasper as Jasper slumped down in his seat. Huh? I hate when they have private conversations…oh well! "All the single ladies…"

"Finally." Jasper stopped banging his head against the window as we pulled into the garage.

"Alice why don't you give Bella a break and then you can continue later?" Edward asked as he rushed to Bella's side.

"Fine. But not for too long, we have so much more to do!" Alice said as she danced over to Jasper who had followed me in. I came to a stop in front of the table because it was covered in cake. There was cake. Lots of cake. Why is there so much cake?! It's everywhere!

"What is all this?" I asked, hoping to solve the mystery.

"Cake samples for Bella to try. She has to have the perfect flavor for her wedding," Alice answered as I picked up a piece of cake and sniffed it. Ew, this stuff is nasty!

"Ew, it smells awful."

"Oh yeah," Jasper said, "why don't you see how it tastes," as he smeared the piece of cake on my face.

Snap! No he didn't! "Oh no you didn't," I yelled as I tried to get the cake off my face, "It's on!" I picked up a nice big piece and threw it at Jasper who ducked and…Oh shit! I hit Rose right in the face. Oh man, I am so dead. Rosalie is going to kill me!

"Emmett!" Rose screamed while wiping the cake off her face, "You got disgusting frosting in my hair!" Oh yes, I am going to die. Oh no, why is she walking towards me with a piece of cake and that crazy look in her eye? Ahhhh! She's coming closer…she slid the cake down my pants. Well this is awkward. There is only one thing left to say, "food fight!" Yeah! Nailed Jasper that time! I picked up another piece and threw it at Bella, hitting her right in the face…and now Edward is coming after me. I have no luck!

I was able to hit both Jazz and Alice making sure to stay clear of Rosalie before being pummeled with two pieces from Edward. Then Esme walked in. Shit.

"What did you do?!" Oh man, she is mad. Though I can't blame her. I wouldn't want my living room covered in icing and cake. I have to think of an accuse…It was an accident…I tripped…we were fighting off the Volturi…aliens…I know I'll tell her the truth!

"Well you see, Bella had to pick out a cake for the wedding and we decided to help her." Please believe it, please believe it, please believe it…

"By throwing it around my living room?" Damn. Well…

"Edward started it." I yelled while pointing to Edward.

"What? I did not, that is such a lie Emmett." Well no kidding but Esme doesn't know that.

"Did to!"

"Did not!" Oh, so we're playing that game?!

"Did-" Maybe not. I didn't get to finish because Edward tackled me to the floor. I was just about to flip him when Esme yelled, "boys!" and we froze. He jumped off my back and went back to Bella. He's lucky Esme interrupted or I so would have won.

"I don't care who started it," Esme started, Oh no, I know what's coming next, "all three of you boys are going to clean this room while you girls go clean yourselves off and that is final. Now, I have to go to the store and get supplies. I'll be back in an hour, behave." And with that she left, leaving us all frightened of what would happen if we didn't do what she said.

"Good job Emmett, now we have to clean the entire living room." Jasper said after surveying the mess.

"It's not my fault."

"How is this not your fault?" challenged Jasper. Um, well actually I don't know but they don't need to know that.

"It doesn't matter. Let's just clean this up before Esme gets back or else we will be in even more trouble," said Edward as he started picking up plates.

"Yeah, your right. I'll go get the supplies." Jasper said as he made his way to the kitchen. And I'll just sit here and look cool.

Using our vampire speed, we cleaned the room quickly. After we were done, and sure that Esme couldn't yell at us for anything, I decided to play a videogame with Jasper. We were in the middle of an epic battle when the doorbell rang. Yes! I almost forgot. Phase 2 is a go!

Edward answered the door to find Newton standing there practically shaking from fear.

"Hello Mike how are you?" Oh my God, Edward could be so polite it was obnoxious.

"Fine," Mike answered. Oh great, he's in a bad mood. It will make this even better!

"Hey Newton, what's shakin'?" I asked deciding to make my presence known.

"Is there something I could do for you?" Edward asked. Haha, it's too easy, I won't even…Edward set himself up for that joke.

"I came-" Mike stopped in the middle of his sentence and I knew my plan was in motion. Bella had just come storming down the stairs looking for me who she thought had her clothes.

"Bella love, why aren't you wearing any clothes?" Edward asked. Oh my God, this is too good.

"Because stupid Emmett over there stole them while I was in the shower!" Oh my God that was hilarious. Her face…and then he turned around--wait, Emmett?! Oh no, I'm so dead.

"Emmett…" Edward is so going to kill me right now! I know…plead the fifth!

"No! Edward I didn't…I mean it was a joke…I" Wow, way to sound not guilty. Edward threw himself at me and I am ashamed to say I screamed like a little girl and ran away. So much for pleading the fifth.

Unfortunately for me now we were out of Newton's view and Edward didn't have to act human. Dude! He shoved me into the stack of plates that I had just finished cleaning. It is on! Oops, I may have just tackled him onto Esme's coffee table. Edward then pushed me off of him and sent me flying across the room. Oh. My. God. I landed on his piano. Oh my God! I just smashed his piano into a million pieces. But in my defense, he shoved me into it. Yeah that should work.

"Emmett!" He yelled as he threw me into the backyard, shattering the window in the process. Ok…we'll call this one a draw?

I dusted myself off, thinking of all the ways to break the news to Esme that we broke something else in her house. Blaming Edward always works…until she asks other people and they tell her that I actually did it. Aw man, I ripped the new shirt Rose got for me. She is gonna be mad! Wait…I can blame Edward! He is the one that shoved me through the window. Ah, I'm missing all the action inside.

"He landed on my piano." Edward said being all dramatic. Give me a break!

"Relax Edward, it's only a piano we can buy another one." I mean, we have like a bajillion dollars.

"Oh, did I hear shopping, I'll do it!" Alice said as she appeared at my side. Of course Alice would want to go shopping. She goes shopping for everything, even my underwear!

"No, really Alice I'd rather-" Edward was stopped mid-sentence by Alice who pulled him by the collar down to her height.

"Let. Me. Do. It." She hissed. Oh, let her do it. Last time she brought back a pink piano. The look on Edward's face was priceless. "I haven't bought anything in twenty-four hours and it's killing me."

"Wow, someone has withdrawal problems," Bella said super soft. Haha, she is so dead. It's true but she's dead.

"Bella, so help me, I will take you to the Mall of America and we will visit every store!" Oh you do not want to go to the mall with Alice, much less the Mall of America.

"Hey, I think we all need to relax down here." Jasper said as he came down the stairs.

"Uh, why is Newton standing in the doorway and Bella, why are you in a towel?" Haha yes! This is too good.

"Because Emmett took her clothes while she was in the shower." My Rosie called from upstairs. She refused to be a part of my 'childish acts'. Fine then, her lose.

"And Newton?" Jasper asked. Because I am an evil genius!

"Mike, why are you here?" Bella asked. Uh oh, now Edward is gonna find out that Bella didn't go to work.

"I…uh…I…um," or maybe not since Mike can't seem to form a complete sentence, "you didn't show up to work today and when I called Chief Swan he said you were staying here, so I…"

"Oh, Mike I'm so sorry I completely forgot." Yeah no kidding. That's how we knew this plan would work. "Edward was out camping," yeah he was! Thanks to ME! "and Alice had her binder," yeah she did! That crazy binder was sure to keep Bella busy all day. "and…" Bella continued to ramble until Edward stepped in.

"I asked Alice to take you for me." Here it comes! How is she going to explain 'forgetting' to take Bella to work.

"You thought this would be funny?" Edward said as he backed Alice into the wall. Oh my God, this is hilarious.

"I think this is hilarious. And to be able to keep you in the dark…" Oh my God! I started laughing all over again.

A look of realization came across Edward's face but it was quickly replaced with anger. Oh shit!

"Alice you traitor! You knew and didn't tell me! How could you…Jasper, enough!" Bella screamed. Yeah Jasper!

"Sorry Bella, but it's Edward, he's fuming right now, I can't control it." Oh shit. All that anger is directed at me…but it's still so funny! I started laughing again.

"Oh my God! Newton's face when…Bella…and…" Wrong move. Edward yelled, "that's it," and tackled me onto the dining room table. Apparently Jasper felt left out because he joined in. Who cares, the more the merrier…and less likely the chance that Edward will kill me.

I heard a string of profanities and new that Rosalie had decided to join the party. "Edward, get off of my husband! Emmett stop this, damn it! Jasper can't you control them better than that!"

"Don't you yell at my Jazzy. Edward started it and…"

"He was provoked!" Bella yelled and soon they were arguing over who started the fight. Well at least I was off the hook! Oh shit, there was a shrill whistle and I knew that Carlisle and Esme were home. Apparently so did everyone else because they all froze. Newton, who I totally forgot was still here murmured something about getting back to his lame-o store and left running. Haha, if I wasn't so scared right now that would have been hilarious.

"What is the matter with you?" Carlisle asked. "You have destroyed the dining room and more importantly almost exposed yourselves to Mike Newton."

Oh, this is too good. I have to say it. "Haha, Bella almost did expose herself to Mike."

"Bella dear, why don't you have any clothes on?" Esme asked.

"Because after you left I went upstairs to take a shower and when I came out I found Emmett stole my clothes so I came down to get them from him, Mike was here, Edward tackled Emmett, broke his piano, Alice revealed their evil plan to embarrass me, Edward tackled him again, Jasper joined in, they broke everything in the dining room, and then Rosalie came down and we started fighting over whose fault it was and then you came home." Bella said in one breath. Wow, she's got a lot in her for a human.

"Everyone to their rooms now!" Ok, maybe I am not off the hook.

**AN: Thanks for reading and please review. I'd love to hear what you think and if you have any ideas for other stories feel free to leave them!**


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